Where's the turn off switch?

What needs to be turned off you ask?  Since it's 5 AM and I've been awake since 3:00 AM, the first thing I can think of that needs to be off is my brain.  But then I glance to my side and see the tooth fairy has left Thing 1 some money for the loss of another tooth.  Upon realizing that today we will go meet her new 4th grade teacher at her new school, I also would like to switch off the "growing up" button on my kids.  Add to that the 11 year old dog beside me who apparently can't see very well anymore as shown by her amazing ability to trip me at random times since she can't see me walking by, then I want to shut off the "growing old" button.

Wonder what it would be like to have that power---the power to stop things you want to stop from happening.  Yesterday morning a close friend's dad died. I knew this dad well and shared many great talks together.  As the broken heart spoke through my friend's voice, I wished I could have shut off that pain.  That led to the day my dad died and all the memories came flooding in since I truly knew what Bret was feeling at that moment---loss, fear, fatigue, numbness. The vision of my father's face after he died with one solitary tear running down his cheek resurfaced and once again, I was back at that hospital bedside, the same one Bret was at that very moment.  This is one memory I would also like to "shut off."

On the same day the sadness for losing Don was strong, I also had an amazing lunch with one of my favorite people in the world who was visiting Sioux Falls. His life is beautiful, and yet, his heart is also broken in so many ways, by people who should be celebrating every day of life with him, instead of avoiding it.  I wanted to stop those moments from happening in his world, reassure him of his unbelievable worth and value to so many, yet the validation he needs isn't from me. I want to remove the blinders from those in his world wearing them and turn off the power those blinders carry with them.

Unless I've been given some magical power, obviously I have no power to stop anything from entering my mind. I do have the power to deal with the things that enter it and the strength over the negative ones to turn them into positive ones. Yet, I struggle to do that, especially at this time of year when I'm preparing to return to the classroom so visions of students, lesson plans, bulletin boards, standards, grading, and excitement dance in my head.  Really hard to shut those babies down. So what does one do at times like these?  Yes, pray.  Yes, try to think it through so it stops. Maybe self medicate so one can sleep. Cry? Talk? (This one is hard to do unless it's the dogs I talk to since there are two little Things snoring away beside me right now.)  Apparently, write is one of my answers.

I just want everything to be okay.  No pain.  No loss (not just of life, but loss of my babies who are growing too quickly). No insomnia (lack of sleep = serious illness for me).  Just. Stop.