The day began with a 9 year old yelling at me that I didn't allow her enough time to sleep. She was serious, as was I when I said, "You will be late for school and it's not because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, so move it, buttercup." Begrudgingly, she got up still blaming me that she had just got in bed and it was time to wake up. Not sure what she thought those nine hours were in between, but I find it fun to watch children learn things and figure things out. Thing 1 is usually much quicker than she proved this morning.
At school the dreaded psycho parent has made her appearance. Although it appears she isn't aiming quite at me yet, I know inevitably I will be a target and a big one at that. It is unnerving to deal with parents who blame teachers for things and who listen to one side of every story assuming the worst in regard to the professional who simply wants to help her child. My mind was menaced by thoughts of this upcoming encounter which doesn't get any easier after 20 years of them.
During class as we're starting vocabulary, I have the students tell me what word they were assigned to be an expert at (in other words, which one they will teach us about). As I called a girl's name, I asked what word she had. She quickly said, "Slut." I hear giggles and gasping from the popular side of the room. Then of course, there is always Mr. Clown who bursts out with, "What did you just say? Did you just say...." To which I quickly attempt to regain control by saying, "Umm, look again at that word." She blushes and says, "Sulk, not slut." The giggling continues as I glare toward The Cheerleader and as Mr. Clown begins to form a word, I immediately call the next name. Needless to say, I felt sorry for the kid, although I had to admit, it was rather funny.
Following this encounter I go to the administration building for an English department meeting for the middle school teachers. It was okay and it was also at this point that I realized I'm a free book whore. There were a pile of books to be given away free that were newly published ones and I sat staring at them trying to figure out how I could snag a few of them. At the end of the meeting, the owner of said books offers them to anyone who is in their first five years of teaching. What?!!!! To myself I knew there would be a way to get a book out of this deal so I walked up front with a rookie from our school and helped her choose a free book, knowing that sooner or later, the owner will give in and see these rookies aren't going to take more than one or two and there were probably 40 of them. My ears perked up and my heart practically skipped a beat when she said, "Anyone else who wants books, go ahead and grab one." As I was grabbing books, I saw some others had four so my competitive spirit kicked in and I grabbed five. Winner. No clue if any of them are good. No clue if they're appropriate for 7th graders yet. Don't care. Free. Books. Free anything to a teacher is better than sex. I think.
