Dear Thing 1 and Thing 2,
As I listen to you playing dolls in the other room on this Fourth of July 2013 I feel the need to impart some mommy wisdom to you that kind of hit me today. Ya see, I had many plans for this week of perfect weather. But then Thing 1 acquired this viral thing that has caused her to practically be incapacitated for the last six days. This has brought many tears from Thing 2 because all of the fun plans she had are gone and the trip to the cousins for the weekend is also out. So, to say I'm not a little bummed would be a lie. However, after heading to the typical social media sites, I came to realize a few things that you may find helpful someday.
Today is a holiday which brings people together. So, of course, besides the typical wishing America a Happy Birthday and being thankful for the freedom which we have, there are many amazing pictures and gatherings happening that I was instantly made aware of. Once I finished scrolling, I kind of sat staring and the fighting within myself began. Questions like, "Why didn't we get one invite anywhere for the 4th?" to "How in the world can they be on another vacation?" to seeing pictures of my hometown with my mom in the background and feeling a little homesick. Immediately, my insecurities rose and my sadness began. So I vacuumed. Yes, if I can't quite think clearly, I do a mundane task that requires no major skill so I can think. This is what I came up with.
My dear girls....you are being raised in an age that scares me, yet excites me. The amazing things that come with technology is mind boggling. But the power that comes with technology makes me shudder. Your age group is going to be caught up in the kind of life where social media appears to be life. I want to help you understand a few things about that whole topic. What you see on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (none of which you are on yet) can cause your heart to hurt. It can allow you to believe your life is nothing or that you have nothing or do nothing of value. It can cause you to covet what others have and it can make you greedy. It will make you believe all families/friends/neighbors celebrate holidays like the silly picture above. You may think you're missing out on life. You may feel unworthy and many times not good enough when you see photos your friends take places that you weren't invited. You will wonder why you aren't invited to different activities that you could easily have attended. You may compare yourself to others with no true merit for that comparison. I can guarantee that some, if not all of these things will happen if you allow yourself to believe that most of what you read on social media sites are real life.
Real life is the many who post pictures of their toes by the pool or the beach, but deep down are lonely, even if they're surrounded by family and friends and this is their fifth vacation this year. Real life is the insecurity that is behind the smiles in the many selfies that are posted. Real life is the tantrum that was thrown minutes before the family photo was posted from another family get-together where earlier there was an argument amongst family members and there are some sitting apart from each other because of baggage carried for years. Real life is the credit card debt that increased when that new purchase so proudly shown was made. Real life is also people like your mama....who gets caught up in wondering why she/we aren't invited places when obviously the photos and posts show her friends are getting together....and she assumes she isn't important enough.
My hope for you is that even though social media will be a colossal part of your world, that you'll have the wisdom to still make a phone call to someone or heaven forbid, actually drop in on them and have a face to face visit without technology being a part of it. My prayer is that you will know behind every smile there is many times a battle raging that could always use encouragement whether that be a note in the mail, a hug, a reminder you're praying for them even when nothing is wrong, and so on. My dream is that you will grow into women who will not get caught in the comparisons that this world (and social media) fosters so easily. My desire is that you will pay special attention to the single parents, the single people in general, and the kids who maybe don't have a family that can surround them on holidays and you will reach out to those people, specifically since your mama spent many holidays sad, plus you began this world journey as an orphan but were chosen by God for me. There are many "orphans" in this world who could use your love and care. Let's never stop remembering that.
Love,
Mom
