Sitting in church with two children tends to produce some "moments." Today was one of those days. The girls are okay going to Sunday School classes, but if there is ever a time when we can skip it, they will jump at the chance. Today they jumped and I gave them the whole, "I will take a snack for you and you take something quiet to keep you occupied" lecture and off we went.
Within five minutes of the sermon starting, Thing 2 decides she has to go potty. This has become a routine now, not only at church, but pretty much at any store we enter. I don't get it, but I expect it because this isn't my first rodeo. Luckily, I have Thing 1 who can now take her potty by herself. Begrudgingly, of course, but she does it. They leave and return with a little spectacle, but not a major one. Smirks cover the faces of those around me as they think to themselves, "Oh, Cummins...you got what you deserved in these children."
Twenty minutes pass and suddenly, in a quiet moment, Thing 2 says full voice, "I've got to poop. I'm going to go potty and poopy in my pants! I have to...." and it was then I was able to reach her, put my hand over her mouth before she said the P word again full voice, and listen to the chuckles around me from those who got the pleasure of hearing the announcement from a three year old. Now I was in a pickle. Thing 1 did NOT want to take Thing 2 to the bathroom again because she was busy sketching. She also has done it enough now to know that Thing 2 will pretty much do whatever it takes to get out of a quiet situation, so she said, "She's lying. She does NOT have to go poop." As soon as Thing 2 heard this, she said, "I have to go poopy now. I go poopy in my pants." Again, chuckles. I pull her close, gently of course because I always assume a social worker is watching me, and I whisper in her ear, "You can wait." Wrong answer. An even louder 3 year old states, "I HAVE to go poopy now." At this point, I believe I've been beaten and I concede, but before I allow her to go I say, "If you don't poop, you will get a spanking because that would mean you were lying to mama." Thing 1 takes her little sister to the bathroom with the anger in her step that only I can recognize along with this glint in her eye knowing that her little sister is probably going to get a spanking soon.
They return. Church is ending when they return and people are milling about so it's not quite as obvious that my children have once again exited the church. Thing 1 walks quickly toward me and I know without a doubt Thing 2 did not poop. "She did NOT poop, just like I said she wouldn't. Now she gets to get spanked." Thing 2 looks at me with a quick smirk and then it registers that she isn't off the hook. The big eyes and reluctant walk to the car made me realize that I must be consistent with my threats because she truly knew what was coming.
Do I think this swat on the behind will cure her from lying to me? No. Do I think she really has to poop? Yes. Do I think I'm scarring her for life by swatting her for not pooping when she says she will? Perhaps. But I have to hand it to the kid. She knows exactly what NOT to say and exactly WHEN to say it for full attention and effect from her mommy.
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