The Insecure Leading the Insecure

It's been many years since I've led a Bible study.  I believe the last group I led were teen girls who now are mostly close to their mid twenties now and a few have married and reproduced even.  And now I am leading a Beth Moore book (not the ones that can induce stress-related coronary issues when you realize how long it takes to get through one day's lessons) on insecurity.  I just chuckle when I say that, whether it be in my ever-so-busy mind or out loud.  Me, leading a study on insecurity.  Priceless.

I've enjoyed the study so much and have an awesome group of women involved in the study. God has shown me there is a way to conquer this monster that consumes so many of us, but me in large ways. The essence of getting through insecurity is simple: understand you are God's treasure.  Really?  That simple?  I think not.

I review my life repeatedly, especially now that I'm studying insecurity, the root of many of my issues.  I see very little reason for God to consider me his TREASURE.  Actually, I see very little evidence of me even coming close to grasping this concept. It could be I've not ever been called a treasure by others. Or at least by others whom I believe mean it in the way it is meant. It could be I'm a Comparison Monster and can't break that stupid habit.  Maybe the fact that financially there is very little security to be found for me and never will be plays a role in the inability to take God at His word. So would that make me insecure in my God, too?

What's weird is that I find when I view my life retrospectively, I see that I was secure in the big things---when illness struck, when devastation lay around the corner, when I was super scared, when Dad died---big things have shown me much more secure than daily small things. I really want to change that.  I don't want to pass my insecurity to my daughters. I work so hard to give them a balance to what society tells them regarding women's looks, people's hearts, and so on. But I'd hate to someday have them say, "Mom, remember how you could never get past _________?  Now I'm there, too."  Realistically they'll be telling their therapist this as I know living with me will definitely induce a reason for therapy later in life, but still.  I'd hate to be the topic ALL the time.

Anyway, not totally sure of the purpose of this post besides the fact that I'm heading to lead the insecure to security in a bit and felt the need to do some writing therapy myself.  I'm so wanting to understand that God adores me, calls me his Beloved, and simply can be my strength when my weakness overtakes me.  It's getting to that point that has me baffled and yet, I trudge forward, daily, hoping to claim victory over the 21st Century's New Plague on people everywhere.