The New Morning Face

Oh yes, I sense your jealousy upon seeing this lovely morning face.....ugh.  I'm not sure what has invaded the body of my three year old other than simply being three, but I seriously can't wait to drop the kid at daycare and get the heck to work! This particular face came this morning after she wanted me to help her with her coat, no she didn't, yes she did, no she DIDN'T.  Man, I simply can't win in this situation and the problem is the situation isn't a single event, nor a star of Jersey Shore.  The situation has become a morning routine and I'm going crazy....emphasis on CRAZY.

If I had only one drama queen in the house, this might be a tolerable time in life.  However, God saw fit to bless me with two very dramatic children and if it's not Thing 2 throwing a fit, it seems Thing 1 has her share of moments lately, too.  What the heck is going on?  Is it the change in weather?  Is it their ages?  Is it me?  Is it fatigue?  Is it illness?  Are they both perimenopausal with me?

Understanding a three year old is in and of itself, a feat simply because of her three year old accent.  No, not a Chinese accent like some seem to think.  She's never spoken Chinese. She's three and words don't always work.  I did however understand when she said, "Help me with my coat, Mommy."

So, I, believing I'm the mommy and I'm being requested to help will walk toward said child and reach out to help with her coat.  "NO! I do it!"  And the screams start.

Since I'm still the mommy and I see we're running late because said child's coat is now stuck behind her back because she can't quite reach the sleeves, I reach out and grab it anyway and help her ease her arm into the sleeve. One would think this would easily bring a "Thank you, Mommy" from the mouth of child no longer being strangled by her coat, but instead this is what I get:

"I SAID NO. I DO IT."  Then she runs down the hall completely opposite of the way we were heading to leave so I can by some form of miracle, maybe be on time for work.

I say, "Thing 2, you need to come back here and we need to go to daycare. Now. No argument."

"Mommy, I NEED HELP!"

I stand stunned, yet I walk forward hearing the ticking of the clock reminding me I'm going to be late to work. I reach my arm out to help her.

From the depths of the drama queen soul arises this sound, similar to one associated with demons: "I SSSAAAAIIIIDDDDD I DO IT!"

At this point, I've had it. I grab the kid, put the coat on her and carry her to the car screaming, "I SAID I DO IT! I DON'T LIKE YOU AT ALL."

Sigh. Welcome New Morning Face.